What's Up - Physical Fitness Order of Magnitude

Last year, my agent asked me if I was ‘ripped’. I had to admit that, ‘no, that probably wouldn’t be what I’d call myself, I’m more athletic’. On the above order of magnitude chart that would likely be 49.

The goal this year is possibly to get myself to Ripped, which is 56.

But also I have my own problems with this chart. It spends way too much space on the out of shape range. More than half. Maybe this is more a reflection on the author’s own negative perception of being overweight, maybe not.

Currently, after considerable effort, I’m proud to say that I’m probably somewhere between 50 and 51.

I’d like to eventually get to a category not really listed here, which I’ve always liked, which is ‘rocked’, or ‘jacked’. That’s somewhere beyond ripped maybe, who knows. We’ll see what my body can tolerate.

Also, who says ‘yolked’? I know ‘yoked’ like you’re oxen-esque, but maybe I’ve been hearing this wrong. I don’t know how egg yolks accurately describe an appearance. Diet yes, appearance, no. Plenty wrong with this chart, basically.

What's Up - Still Dunking

I had felt my knees get steadily weaker over the years, and I had barely pulled off a dunk many years ago. After it I thought, “Well I better stop now, so I can say the last time I checked I can dunk.”

A friend, who is over 6 feet tall like me and was an ultra marathon runner, suggested I check out an Instagram fitness dude - @kneesovertoesguy - to rehabilitate what was becoming a tricky knee.

He provides lengthening workouts to strengthen the joints, and offers insights that have recently been ignored by a lot of weight trainers. After some research, I decided to give a few of his workouts a try. I very soon realized my joints felt more stable.

Cut to a now, a month and a half later, me shooting around at the park. Layups feeling alright, getting some air to slap the backboard easily. No pain in the knees. I’m like, ‘maybe I can do this’.

I get up there, one hand with the ball, but lose the ball with my hand. Still, I take note of how high I am up, and it’s substantial altitude. As high as I ever remember. Okay, now with two hands I launch, and throw it down easily, efficiently, with no pain. (Two hands is harder than one hand for me usually)

I am just one of a chorus of people who are singing this guy’s praises. What he’s proposing isn’t entirely new. Many athletes and trainers have implemented these workouts. He does innovate a lot of new stretches and gradations so that you can ease your way into having bulletproof joints.

Mine are by no means bulletproof. But I’ll take this latest flight test as positive encouragement.

And, if you ever need a mid-life white dude to dunk in your project, bring me in. I’ve got at least one or two takes in me. By the time you read this, probably more.